I told myself I'd just have a little. A little couldn't hurt, right?
I grabbed one of the half-wraps - turned out to be chicken salad - and a small scoop of potato salad and went back to my desk.
The tortilla tasted awful - tasteless and dry... gummy in my mouth. The chicken salad wasn't impressive, either, honestly. Neither was the potato salad. I still ate most of it, though. I think the "free food" alarm was going off in my head. Not sure why else I would eat something that tasted so bland.
A little while later, I went back. I don't even know why I went back. Old habits die hard, I suppose. I grabbed a scoop of pasta salad. There were two cookies left - both were white chocolate macademia. I convinced myself it was kismet and took one.
Back at my desk, I ate the pasta salad. The salad dressing was the saving grace - nice and tangy. There were olives and peppers in it, too, which I love. The pasta wasn't doing anything for me, though.
I'm not going to lie, the cookie was kinda tasty. I ate the "chocolate" and nuts out of it, mostly, leaving the dry bits without any fun stuff behind.
And then it happened. Within an hour, I felt like I'd eaten a bowl of rocks. My stomach just felt awful. I was so gassy another hour or so later that I was in pain just sitting at my desk. I kept wiggling and twisting, I got up and went for a little walk. I just wanted relief.
Walking out of the building at 5pm, I started burping. My body was NOT happy with me.
By the time I got home, my left ankle was starting to swell. I still felt like there were rocks in my stomach.
I ate a Paleo dinner and felt better. I even worked out last night - first time in a while.
This morning, I was in a rush. I'd let the morning slip away from me and two minutes before I needed to leave I realized I had not prepared anything to take for lunch. I panicked. I have no cash until payday, so going out wasn't an option. I grabbed a bag of broccoli slaw and some balsamic vinegarette. I headed to the freezer in the garage, content to claim just a mild defeat by grabbing a spicy black bean veggie burger. Then I realized I had fully cooked frozen chicken tenderloins out there! (Tyson makes a kind that's not perfect, but lower in salt than most store-bought frozen grilled chicken. I bought the bag a couple of months ago.) I grabbed a few of those and tossed them in a ziploc.
Add to that a bag of baby carrots, a peach, a Larabar and some pistachios to snack on and I was set.
I received an email this morning from our admin letting us know that there was still some Jason's Deli food leftover from yesterday if anyone wanted it. I told Rach and Joie about the email and how my immediate reaction was, "NO NO NO!" (In my head, of course, I wouldn't want to be rude!)
The way I felt yesterday after eating those foods was awful. I was miserable all afternoon and into the evening. Talking to my husband, I wondered aloud, "Did I just feel like that all the time before and not notice?" I can eat Paleo foods until I'm stuffed and not feel sick afterward. No amount of Paleo foods make me feel bloated and ill.
I don't wanna feel sick any more.
My friends say I'm lucky because I have the almost instant reaction to these bad foods. That's a good way to look at it, I suppose. I'm still shocked at how badly my body reacts to things I used to consider "healthy" not so long ago.
I put my lunch together today and the plate of food just made me smile. Not only are these foods very tasty, I know they're doing good things for me as well. I know when I'm done eating, I'll feel satisfied, not sick.
My body is healing with this diet. I don't consider this a "low carb" diet because I still eat plenty of fruits and veggies, so I'm getting my carbs. I'm just getting them from a more natural source.
As my body heals, I have more energy. As my energy increases, I move more, exercise more, etc.
And with the better foods and extra movement comes weight loss. Yes, I need to lose weight, but being fat was never enough to convince me to eat right long term. I'm not eating just to lose weight any more. I'm eating for my health. Not just some theory that might add three years to the end of my life - my health today. Right now.
If I want to feel good today, I need to eat well today.
How life changing is that?